I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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