Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
