i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
