Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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