I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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