i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
