I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Randomize
