You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
