At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
