Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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