That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize