So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
