Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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