The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
