brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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