Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
