If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
