omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
zippers are such a cool invention
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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