i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
