Where did you get a picture of my penis
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
