Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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