hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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