dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
