I'm drive I can fine osifer
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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