Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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