YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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