Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
