Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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