The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
