why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
