billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
