Michael Bay diarrhea
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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