I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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