I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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