your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
