I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
