Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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