apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
