walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
