Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
