Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize