pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
