Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
