I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize