the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
