apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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