9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
