I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
