i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
