she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
