And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
