if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
