the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
