i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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