The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
