I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
