i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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