your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
