what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
