I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
