bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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