so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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