I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
