You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
