my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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