is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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