R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
