Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
