She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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